So I've been noticing some changes lately. I haven't been wanting to really update my blog, which I always love doing. I've just felt a little unmotivated and uninspired to do it. That's not really like me. And then I've been noticing some other changes as well, some subtle others not so much. So....back to the books. I've done more research. I came across mood swings and triggers that can provoke an oncoming episode of depression. What interested me were these changes such as: Changes in sex drive - CHECK. Changes in energy level - Check. Changes in alcohol use - Check (I'm actually on the band wagon right now....wish me luck). Changes in Sleep patterns - CHECK
So here I am reading all this, filling out my survey getting quite afraid. I can actually see what's happening to me before it happens. I'm getting depressed. I don't feel depressed yet. My body is acting depressed, how long before my mind follows????? THis freaks me out, because over the summer during the times that I did get depressed there were times when I would just cry and moan uncontrollably. And I felt unsafe driving my own car because I just wanted to ram in into oncoming traffic or drive myself down to the Psych hospital.
Needing some prayers, ya'll. I'm going to fight this tooth and nail. I'm equipped. I have God on my side, I have lots of tools that I never had before. I have a support group, I have a supportive husband, I'm on meds. But even being on meds, this can still happen. Just so ya'll know. I'm going to visit my doctor soon, maybe we can prevent a full on depression tornado from sweeping through here but either way, I'm just going to do what I know to do, think good thoughts, and take care of this all I can before it consumes me.
And later today, I'm going to the gym to see if I can kick its a#s.
More tools: praise and worship, speaking the Scripture out loud and taking your racing thoughts captive and making them obedient to the TRUTH and most importantly...RESTING in the fact that Christ kicked BiPolar's a$$ on the cross. To hell with the deceptive trail of symptoms that deduce you're going to be depressed. Remind those symptoms of what you BELIEVE about God and that even THEY have to be obedient to Christ, the King of allllll Kings (supernatural and physical). You CAN kick this thing's a$$ fo sho!
ReplyDeleteI have really enjoyed reading all f your posts Karynda. You share from the heart, openly and honestly. You are helping others more than you know. Keep it up! Be blessed!
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