Okay, I give up. On downloading a video, that is. I've been trying for 4 stupid days. I hate technology. Well, my birthday was 4 days ago. And I shot a video about how just awesome, happy I am. Well, I'm not going to post that video anymore. My awesome happiness has been slightly shattered. As my birthday rolled around this year, I realized that I have friends that can hang with the bipolar, and some that can't. For the friends that can't, it really saddens me. I don't mean to push anyone away, or disappear or have any other kind of weird behaviors. I don't even realize that I'm doing it. Sometimes, it takes all my effort to just get through the day without breaking down, and that steals my focus. Other times, like right now, I'm doing so well, that I'm playing catch up with my kids and my husband, literally. I lost like 4 or 5 months with them this summer while I was manic. I'm like a new person now and I just want to be around them all the time. I guess I just don't know how to balance it all. I'm new at this. One thing for sure, weeks like this, I wish I never got sick. I'd certainly have more friends.
For the friends that have stuck with me and have forgiven me for A LOT, you are amazing souls. I cherish you deeply. I need you more than words can say. And I hope I never do anything to screw our friendship up ! :) I can be me, be bipolar, be whatever and not have to excuse myself for anything. I love you all.
So. Birthday week. Not so great. But at least I have a God that I can lean on, He'll never leave. If I lose everyone in the world, I'll always have Him, and THAT is what I learned this week.
Y ou are a very talented writer, it is not easy to write the way you speak and you do it so naturally. I am so proud of you. I can't imagine how hard it must of been putting yourself out there.
ReplyDeleteI feel blessed to know you. I still can't believe how you rushed to my aide with giving me your tens unit. You didn't even know me! You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. When I read your writing, it is evident that God has a plan when he created you. Bipolar is not who you are, I see that he is giving you an opportunity through bipolar. So many people suffer from it, and it's hidden like they should be ashamed. What I see is that you offer love, forgiveness, clarity, salvation, humbleness and sacrifice through your writting. And it's all for His glory. How amazing is that? How amazing are you! I am very lucky and blessed to know you. Keep writing, your such an inspiration; I look forward to reading.
I second what Ida said. Even through the muck of life you are still the beautiful, amazing creation of God and still the girl I met nearly three years ago.
ReplyDeleteKarynda I love reading your blog. I am proud of you that you are putting yourself out there. You are helping so many people while dealing with your journey thru life.
ReplyDeleteI might not always have the right thing to say but I hope you know I love you. You are a very dear friend that I am blessed to have in my life. Love you like my sister :)