Acne and Anorexia

So people have actually asked me if I'm anorexic. As a result of my medication I've lost a considerable amount of weight. I used to weigh a healthy 137 lbs. I've lost 20. You do the math. So the weight loss at first was kind of awesome. All of a sudden I was shopping for size 3 jeans. But then I started getting asked if I was anorexic. Seriously. People asked me that. I then  realized that I looked sick. This body I live in is not really me. Its the sick me. Oh, how I'd give anything to have the 137lb Karynda back. Because that would mean I was healthy again. But I would just like to say that when asked if I'm anorexic? I usually just painfully laugh it off and say no. But inside it hurts. WHat do you want me to say people? What I'd love to tell you is that I work out at the gym and diet, looks like YOU haven't been to the gym much???? But I dont!  So, I try to "embrace" (theres that word again) this size 3 and wear things that I normally wouldn't be able to pull off like skinny jeans and short shorts, BECAUSE I CAN. Little things like that make me happy. I know I might get made fun of for being 30 years old dressing like a girl in her 20's but I don't have much that make me happy so give me this.
And for the acne? Another lovely side effect that has recently come about. I used to laugh that the Proactive commercial with Justin Beiber in it. Guess who uses Proactive now? Although I must say its only been about 50% effective on this face. Its so frustrating because I used to have beautiful skin. Lets just say that I have a really hard time looking in the mirror lately. I hate hate hate bipolar medication. I know those who read this blog that are bipolar and on meds as well can relate. The side effects are horrendous. For those of you who read this blog and don't need medication to function daily in your lives, say a prayer of thanks to God. You are blessed.