In the Beginning.....

So if you know me, you know I'm a hot mess. I didn't always be this way. Really, I swear. I was somewhat normal. I had jobs I couldn't keep and a child out of wedlock and drank way too much. Thats pretty normal for American standards, right? I mean, I didn't seen anything wrong with it. I knew it was hard a hard life to juggle but it was all I knew. It was the mess I created. And I couldn't just walk out of it. Sometimes the events in my life would somewhat improve. Like that time I found God. And that other time I got married. Those two pivital events seemed to have steadied my rocky world. For a short while. Little did I know, is that my life sits ontop of a huge volcano that errupts without notice and brings chaos and calamity to all who are near.
I was first diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2007, after I had my youngest, Aidan. I didn't believe the doctors though. I wanted to just believe that I had post partum depression. But they kept insisting bi polar and I kept insisting their idiocracy. It was a never ending battle. Once they convinced me to try their meds I really had had it then. In case you didn't know this, Bi polar meds are the WORST! Ever hear of LITHIUM? Okay, that's what my first quack psychiatrist put me on. We'll call him Dr. Dumbf#%K. I despise him. He wouldn't even listen to me. He was just like, "nope, you need lithium". And I said," OMG, Lithium? that freaks me out! Isn't there any other way?" And his response was , " Nope, you need lithium." So as desperate as I was to get out of the suicidal depression I was in, I gave lithium a shot. Holy Moses. Never Again. Lithium is hardcore stuff. I better be in a vegetative coma before anybody gives me that sh*t again.
I was so mad at Dr. Dumbf#%K that I wrote off the Bipolar and wrote off the meds and went on my way. Boy, did I really want to die then. After continuing to feel severly depressed, I was lucky enough to find THE GREATEST Psychiatrist in Columbus whom we shall Dr. Awesome. He said that since I wasn't convinced I was bipolar that I wouldn't take the meds for it, so he let me just go home with some antidepressants and a sleep aid. God Bless HIm. And believe it or not, that coctail actually worked for me for a long time. No bipolar episodes, nothing.
So I was laughing at Dr. Dumbf#%k. Stupid. Told you so. Lithium. Nasty.
So all was well, life was farely good again. Until my back injury, and then the painkillers, and then......duh.duh.duh...................
The volcano erupted.